|Temper Tantrums in Children|
Children, who display sudden fits of anger in public, create an embarrassing and annoying situation not just for their parents but also for others. Trying to calm a tot who is screaming on the top of her lung can make a saint run for cover but as parents you need to communicate no matter how tough your child is.
WHAT CAUSES TANTRUMS IN CHILDREN?
Just like adult, children too have their good and bad days where they might be a little cranky, irritable and grumpy. This is as normal and natural to them as it may be to any other individual.Therefore,such behavious need not be put under microscope.However,if there are too many instances where the child is exhibiting negative behaviours consistently, so much so that it begins to emerge as a behaviour patterns,it needs to be explored. There could be external or internal factors that may cause the child to react in such a manner.
The home and school environment would be the two different places that need to be investigated in detail as they are the primary institutions from where maximum learning, both positive and negative,takes place.A negative home environment, where relationships between parents,grandparents and other relatives is troublesome,could contribute to the child’s stressed emotional state.His relationship with his friends,siblings and teachers would tell a lot. Very often,it is seen that temper tantrums are a means to seek attention,importance or gratification of needs. It could be his way of expressing his distress or a cry of help and so, it must be given immediate attention.
HOW TO TACKLE A TWO -YEAR OLD WITH A TEMPER TANTRUM?
First of all,try to understand what is making child upset or cranky.A two year old will not be able to express his distress verbally.Therefore,you need to be very patient ant not lose your calm.Little cues could help you to figure out what he requires.Make sure he is well fed, is not sleep deprived and doesn't have a wet or a messy diaper,as these are the basic reasons that can keep the baby restless and uncomfortable.Also, a comfortable environment where the temperature is neither too hot nor too cold.Beyond these,one needs to look at the emotional signs-how much care& attention is being given to child,how much time are you giving him.These are important points that need to be looked into.Apart from this,the easiest & best way to deal with a baby's tantrums is to distract attention. A change of environment could help.Also,try and engage him with toys or any other activity that could divert his mind.
CHILDREN OFTEN HURT THEMSELVES DURING TANTRUMS.HOW CAN A PARENT HANDLE SUCH SITUATIONS?
Keeping a watch on them is important. You need to be very careful that you don't pick up things that could be dangerous or knowingly or unknowingly indulge in behaviours that could be dangerous or knowingly or unknowingly indulge in behaviour’s that could be physically injurious. Remove all those sharp, risky things from your child's vicinity, if possible. Ignore his ill-behavior,but not the child!!!!!!!
WHEN SHOULD PARENTS NOT GIVE IN TO TANTRUMS?
There is difference between pampering children and spoiling them. Children need love and affection and a certain fulfilment of their need and want to feel that emotion of love. However, when that becomes the only medium of expression & understanding and the demands & wants keep growing with your child putting increased amount of pressure to satisfy his wishes each and every time, it is a serious issue. It is at this time, that you need to realise that there is some unhealthy learning taking place which needs to be corrected immediately.
TIPS TO CONTAIN THE TANTRUMS IN CHILDREN?
- Remove him from the environment which is the source of the temper tantrums.
- Redirect his attention to another activity that is of interest to him.
- Avoid getting into arguments & debates with him at that very moment as he will most likely be unresponsive.
- Intervene before he is about to go out of control. Talk to the child right then only to prevent any further escalation of the mood.
- If you are about to enter a situation where you know that the chances of him throwing a temper tantrum are high, make sure you brief him about the rules in advance.
HOW CAN TEACHERS DEAL WITH TEMPER TANTRUMS IN SCHOOLS?
The behavioural pattern or the tendency remain the same .It is just the situation which changes, from the home to school.Therefore,the way of handling would also be the same. One difference that is seen is that children do not take their teachers as much for granted as they do their parents and therefore do not cross the extreme lines of bad behaviour. Due to this, we often hear that children who are ill-tempered at home are more civil in school. Before jumping to any conclusion, it is important that the teachers, like parents, try and talk to the child. Free and open communication could help in achieving an important breakthrough to understand the child’s pain and distress. Addressing his concerns and helping him work through his stress could almost immediately lead to a reduction in his negative behaviours. IN some cases, a negative reward could also lead to the change of behaviour from an unhealthy to a healthy one.
HOW TO DEAL WITH SEVERE TEMPER TANTRUMS IN CHILDREN?
If parents or teachers are unable to help the child, it is important that a professional’s help is sought. Children rebel at times and become more defiant to what is being communicated by parents and teachers but are more receptive to a neutral third party who could be a counsellor or a therapist.
HOW TO MANAGE A CHILD WHO THROWS A TEMPER TANTRUM IN PUBLIC?
If a child is misbehaving and goes out of control, it is important that the parents get hold of the child immediately and remove him from that place. Take the child to another room or outside where there is nobody and tell him that he will not go back or would have to go back home if he doesn’t conduct himself well. He has to calm down.
CAN OLDER SIBLINGS HELP IN DEFUSING THE YOUNGER ONE’S TANTRUM?
Sometimes, yes, if older sibling is mature and cooperative enough to understand the situation. Sometimes the older ones could add fuel to the fire too!!!!!!!